[02 Oct 2006|11:07am] ugh you know i just fucking hate it! i hate myself. i hate myself for liking someone who doesn't like me back. I hate it how I can get used by someone and not telling anyone bout it. I mean i know its not good to hold it alll in but i just had to. I`m not the type of person to open up to people. i dont know what to do. wsighs. wat the fuck ever., think of me

College Life. [03 Sep 2006|11:20pm] I feel like updating why? i don`t know just feeling like it. Today the fambam and I went on a roadtrip to an Oyster Farm. Woke up at 7.30 AM washed face.change.grab the essentials. and off we go to pick up Grandma.Drove to Aunts house where we all meet up.Pack all the yummy food into the cars.We took 4 cars total. And on our way to the Oyster Farm.Stop at Shell's to get gas. And off we went.The ride was 2 freakin hours. I had my beauty sleep hehe =]. woke up. got there. HELLA PACKED. found parking for 4 cars. unloaded ice coolers drinks and food. Fought for a table.Aunt bitched at a filipino greedy ass lady. got us two tables took forever to get a grill. Bought oysters Ate them raw then got a grill and cooked them. Busted out our marinated chicken and korean bbq. cooked it ate it. Aunt made friends with mexicans who gave us extra hot sauce.lemons.and sunflower seeds =]. chilled. babysat.ate.drink.stayed there for 4 hours. packed up and left. 2 hours drive back. dropped off coolers at aunts house dropped grandma off went pee and came home. Over all today was an ok day. i was bored. but i had yummy food. now Mom and Dad are at aunts house to eat n chill while im at home watching TV and doing homework =.= College Life is too damn bleh. I am soo fuckin brokee.got 2 bucks on me. damn it. but i love it. i like mission. stil trying to get used to it. sighs. summers over. but hey. LEAST IM NOT MOViNG ANYMORE =] i`m gonna be on my own in about a month or two. parents are moving in dec maybe. so i might have my own apt or something. but yeah. im ready to be an independent lady. or am i? <33 think of me

Lie About Us. [19 Aug 2006|12:51am] [ music | Lie About Us- Avant ] Dang I haven`t updated in so long!!! Well it`s cause I haven`t been h0me f0r the lasy c0uple 0f days. Just tryna` g0 0ut as much as I can `til i leave 0f c0urse =]. g0tta spend quality time with my friends bef0re sch00l starts. So lately I haven`t been do`n ne thang` new. just kicc` it and chill with the homies. na mean? Drama also happened here and there but i`m n0t finna talk b0ut it cause it ain`t my bizzness. but i can`t believe summer is gonna b over in like a week! fucc` then college starts! i`m hella nervous and scared =/. finally i`mma b a college student. I wish i was young agehn. I hope kids would understand that be`n all grown up ain`t everything. I think they should juss enjoy their age ya know? Like not be in a rush to turn 18 or 21 just cause it`s legal to drink and smoke. It ain`t all that fun mang . But i dunno. Generations just gettin more crazy and crazy. As for my love life, I met this guy. But I don`t know whats go`n 0n between us. Is it a Thing? Fling? or just Friends? kind of thing. so i`mma just let it fow and see wha happens. He pretty cool though. But I wish he has a more perspective view of his life. but fornow i`m just gettin to know him. =] so i`m happy. sighs. too much ddrama to deal with. i just wanna get out and have fun while life lasts. Like i said.... I Smile Everyday `Cause Frown`n w0n`t do you no good. think of me

Mommy Dearest. [22 Jul 2006|07:56pm] So Ive come to the conclusion that my Mother is not a good mom.She doesnt show love much or act liek she loves u. For Example. I was reading a mail that was for my dad. and it said bout some stupid sweepstakes. and sh gos. READ IT CAREFULLY you go online and u cant even fucking read it. and im like for the fifth time i told its a stpid game shit and she goes. what the fuck ever. imma just give it to your dad when he comes back.. -uhh ok? I read it carefully explained and she goes crazy on me? yeahh some mom. Another Example. My baby cousin was eatin some pasta. and she was standing on the chair and cos to falling so i yell out loud BE CAREFULLY SIT DOWN. what does my mom say? MOTHER FUCC SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!! IMMA BEAT U!. -what the fuck? you dont say that to a two year old say you gonna beat their ass. im like MOM yell at her but dont CUSS at her. I dont know. Maybe Im sayin this cause my mom was never there for me. Yeah she gives me money. Its cause my dad tells her and she feels bad for me cause they wont let me drive or talk. I dont know. It just gets on my neves. she just asks too many question the samme time over and over again and i get annoyed to i answer back all annoyed and with a tone. and she gos why u giving me attitude. and i explain to her cause you freakin ask me that 100 times and it never got to your head 1 thought | think of me

Rayvon.86-03/29/06 [15 Jul 2006|01:46am] [ mood | sad ] So i was watching this movie that was filmed in New Orleans. Everything Was all cool. Then theres a part where it was shot at a cemetary. and It reminded me of RayVon i want to cry but i cant. so yeah this entry goes out to Ray. Rayvon. Do you know how much I miss you? hella. i miss you to the max. I still cant accept the fact that youre gone. Everywhere i go something reminds me of you. like that movie hella remind me of you. i hope youre doing good swty. im just having a boring ol summer buming around. duh you should know since you are watching over me. i hella want to cry but im not. imma b a big girl and type this to you. I just dont get it..Why does a great guy like you have to be taken away...why? why cant it be the bad people in this world. im even more mad and sad cause i cant find that one picture of me and you from sophomore year. it mightve been wiped away durin the hurricane ;[. that was our only picture. i remember you telling me you still look at that ugly studio pic of me from time to time cause you left it in your bookbag. if you had a crush on me you couldve said so duh! haha now i regret not talking to you as much not hanging out with you.we knew somewhat of the same people but you never come n chll you were just on your own world haha runing or jumpin rope around school. you know people here play that wall ball that you do. hella made me wanna cry.but i just wanted to say hi to you ok swty. and that i love you and miss you. ill see you in my dreams and feel your spirit. just dont scare me ok? cause ill cry if you scare me. <33 <33one and only.NANCY think of me

Oh Baby! I Got A Crush On You ;] [14 Jul 2006|12:35pm] [ mood | content ] So Things Are Easier Said Than Done. Yeah I`m Tryna Not Talk To Him But It`s Hard When You Hella Like SomeOne And All That Shit. Let`s Move On. I Need To Lose Weight. Im Not FAT But I have FAT I Want To Lose. Since My Mom Won`t Take Me To The Gym. Or Park To Run. Imma Just Watch What I eat and Exercise At Home. But Yeah. Lets Go Back To My NO SODAS hahaa. So Stef Left To BootCamp. I Miss Her. I`m Sad Cause I Didnt Get To Hang Out With Her Much. As I Am On Lockdown. This Sucks Butt. I Miss Seeing Her Screen Name On My AIM List. But I Know She'll Do A Fine Job In BootCamp. I Just Miss Her Picking On Me HAHHA =] So Kisses Party Was Last Night. I missed Out Cause I Had No Ride.. But Soon Found Out IT Ended Early Anyways.Its Ok Junkiie Andrew Mike Booty And Geoffrey Kept Me Company Late At Night hahah =] Gotta Love Them To The Max! One More Week Till I Go To L.A. yadad ;] think of me

Sprung? I think so [11 Jul 2006|01:49pm] [ mood | confused ] So yeah I`m sad. well not technically sad. but a little down. GAH I`m still crushing on him. Why? Usually i get over guys fast but he.he;s different? I dont know. What should I do? i know i hear rumors bout him. But i know him. I talk to him. He's sweet,funny,cute,mixed,athletic, and basically errthing on my list. but i cant have him. cause he's TOO good. he prolly still with the same girl. and we just flirt. thas it. we flirt and talk yadada.. WHAT SHOULD I DO? this hurts butt. 1 thought | think of me

B0RING WEEKEND [07 Jul 2006|12:02am] [ mood | confused ] So yeah I haven't updated in a while. I`m lazy iight ? :P. let`s see Recap Last Saturday was Loraines KickBack/GetTogether. Came at around 6 had to go pick up Rosalyn and Izza who took forever to get ready then off to Loraines. Watched the PACMAN boxing and ate and chatted and made new friends fun fun came home at 1 ish. Sunday Stayed h0me. Dee kalled and she decided to c0me pick me up s0 we can g0 t0 Stefs Party g0t ready at 7 g0t picked up at 8 dr0ve to holiday inn :]. party was nice. Love the favors. Stefs looked handsome. Reunited wit some people. Went to the afterparty chilled met ne people ad left to go home fun. M0nday went to cathys h0use meet upwit the fambam t0 g0 eat. Ryan came al0ng. ate went 0ut wit the fambam costco's :] and mall. Then parted wit them to go to a homebois place. Drank Coronas n Henn and Grey Goose. yadadayee. Went h0me earlie with m0na becuhz later on no one could drive me haha dun and this week so far has been b0rin. Teh guy i like kalled me after a week without me kalling him. its n0t my fault. i havent been in the mood of callin people. been isolating myself from people haha oh well there's myspace and LJ so you can catch me here or there. Chatted with him for a while and let him go cuhz im watchin a movie with mymom. i promised to kallhim later. maybe i will. ...maybe i wont...i need to stop likin him i really do. think of me

Im Here For You Always [19 Jun 2006|03:44pm] You know that saying right? Yeah I know it too. I hear it everytime. But when I say it. I mean it and i keep as a promise. Yeah I may have broken promises but that i always keep. I`m ALWAYS here for everyone. My friends call me when smething happens to them. Their gf/bf is ceating on them or broke up or crying or family problems and just stressin with their lives. and who's there to listen to them and always pick up on their calls? ME. yeah awwa such a sweet friend yadada.... i`m happy that my friends have me to count on when they need someone to talk to. because when theyre happy im happy.. yet.. have they ever think of me? Were they there for me? Do they keep in touch? Do they call? Did they keep their word and say KIT?. yeah a few did but not the ones i was expecting. Yeah i`ve been kinda down lately. Just everything hit me at once. I was lead on kinda sorta. well found out that guy is still with it gf DUH. why was i so dumb to believe that he said they broke up when i saw her page and a pic of them together. I also miss my friend Rayvon (RIP swty). I just stilll can't accept the fact that he's gone. up in heaven chillin there watchin over me. I just wanna see him aain before i hit college. is that too much to ask for? fuck. Fuck Life. I can't even get out of the house. I live to far. FUCK i cant even get my FUCKING license. MY FUCKIN mom sed she wont take me driving. WTF? WHAT KIND OF FAMILY DO I FUCKIN HAVE? IM ALMOST 18 AND DONT EVEN GOT A LICENSE WTF? ugh I JUST WANNA CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND DIE THERE. YEAH I SEEM HAPPY WHEN YOU GUYS SEE ME RIGHT? DUH WHO WANTS TO SEE ME SAD? I HAVE A BAD SUMMER EVER SINCE MY BROTHER LEFT. I hate NO I LOATHED LIVING WITH MY MOM IN THE HOUSE. I LIVE TO FUCKIN FAR FOR PEOPLE TO PICK ME UP. AND I JUST HATE IT. I HATE MY LIFE. SOME 18TH YEAR THIS IS FOR ME. SOME SUMMER. FUCK EERYTHING. 2 thoughts | think of me

Father's Day [18 Jun 2006|12:59am] [ mood | content ] HAPPY FATHER`S DAY Happy Father's Day Daddy. =] I Miss You. Since You're In Vietnam I Can't Call Because You're Not Home. =[ So Yeah... You wasn't there for me when i was a kid living in california. I never even saw you much when we lived here.When we went to louisiana you and i became close. You were ther for me. FEED me when i was hungry. You dont veen yell at me unless i did something really bad. youve always talked to me in nice tone. We had our FATHER DAUGHTER days where we go to the arcade play games and see how much stuff animals and other stuff we can win with those machines. We went to Circuit City every Friday or Satudrday just to browse around adn ending up buying them 10 dollars DVD or Chinese movies. We went to Chuck E Cheese just to Play that Coin game and see how much tickets we can win. I make oyou buy mom flowers for valentines day because you were whateve with it. You qould never yell aat me wheni lost my fone and instead got me a new one. You only yell once in a while when someone is REALLY .You may not Know all bout my OWN life out of the family circle. but youve taught me so much. And even though i have made mistake in the past you still believed in me. you tell me to think aout te future but i dont because i dont want to. yet you still love me. Im happy to have a Dad Like you. Every single one of my friends LAVVV you and thinks your cool. I would neer replace u for another Dad. i Love you Daddy. and I mis you. Have fun in Vietnam and get me something =] come baccck safee 1 thought | think of me

Yadadada [15 Jun 2006|08:30pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | Unfaithful - Rhiana ] So Today was just one of the most BORING days ever!!! Sighs. I feel so Lonely. haha gosh when will i get myself a man! haha..I always see my homegirls with their boyfriends or talking on the phone wit their boyfriends and makes me feel left out at times. And awkward =/. but then I just don't care cause duh its their shit. I just dont have a man to do that with. I`m only a gooddd friend. I dont think i'm relationship prone. No one is ever interested in me. I like this one guy but he doesn't like me back DUH. trust me dont give me the youll never kno yadadadada. I know those shit. But I`m slowly letting go of him. Just aint worth my time. I just want to meet guys. hahasomeone i can talk to almost everynite and someone who;s sweet. Is that too much to ask for? Am i bad looking? or not good enough for anyhing. Iam just me. I jsut want a friend for now. i want to feel loved again. Is it too much to ask for? Other than that. Today was boring shit. -Nasty 2 thoughts | think of me

High School Diploma [14 Jun 2006|05:15pm] [ mood | confused ] mother efffing effer. Today started out good. Woke up at 12 shower got ready and went to Grand century to eat with the cousins and brother. Afterwards it was to Indy we go to pick up our diploma. anddd deng i hate that school. One my cousin didn't get her diploma because they accused her of having a book fine from last year. and as for me. they didn't print me my diploma!. i wasnt even on the GRAD list yet on the computer i was GRAD. damn bitches. now i have to wait two weeks. My brother has been here for 5 days and he's leavin tomorroe morning. I feel bad because he's bored here. There really isn't anything to do here for him. He has his old friends but he doesn't wanna hit them up because duh they dont even kall him n see wussup. he just wants to go home and i kno he can't wait. but lucky ass got to go on a shopping spree at Armani xchange. dmn vietnamese haha. Iam going to miss him though. but we're a TOUGH LOVE sister/brother haha.which reminds me. he owes me money XD And so tonight the family and I are going to go eat Thai food. ahhaha going to order hella shit. since its our uncle in law thats treating and we dont like him. <33nastynancy 1 thought | think of me

New Start [14 Jun 2006|04:29am] [ mood | indescribable ] So yeah. I had my old livejournal account but I had forgotten the pw to it and i've changed it recently yet i forgot what i had changed it to. Thus it made me create a new one. I haven't typed an entry in so long. but Livejournal seem to be my only escape from everything Xanga and Myspace. So High School life is over. No more complaining about how high school homework is so hard and difficult and not up to our standards. Now its college. fresh new start as a college freshman. Honestly, i`m frighten of it. Iam scared what the real world is going to be like. I've been through so much shit already for the past year. My whole life basically. From San Jose to Buras,Louisiana then to New Orleans then to Metairie/Kenner,Louisiana and back to San Jose due to Hurricane Katrina. Yeah it was difficult for me to cope that the fact that i was moving again. but then again i got use to it. I just miss my friends. sighs i also met this guy. yeah im in like with him. i just can't get over it. but then i'll live. Good luck just dont come to me. Look at the gorgeous moon and i bid you goodnight. think of me

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